Self-Servants Not Wanted

A prospective partner contacted The SOFEI Group to offer their services to build their brand. This person was turned down because their main purpose to join wasn’t about helping us achieve our mission – it was self-serving.

If your ultimate reason to secure employment or start a business is to make money, you’re off to a bumpy start. Many MLM (Multi-level Marketing) business owners plummet because they see an opportunity to make money, instead of an opportunity to improve the lives of others with their product or service. And, many businesses are not experiencing exponential growth because it’s replete with self-serving people who choose not to use their skills, experience, or education to serve.

In this knowledge-based workforce, employers and business owners want to connect with believers, leaders, or servants. People who believe in the organization’s mission, goals, and objectives; leaders who can influence people to achieve greatness, and people who do not mind serving their internal and external clients.

Anyone willing to believe, lead, and serve can strengthen their opportunity to achieve long-term success. But, if your willingness to work is to reap and not sow, you may be characterized as a self-server. Have you ever seen a want ad or business opportunity for self-servants?

Take the Secret out of Doing Business

Attend this seminar to receive business secrets to grow your business. Really? Let’s face it; there are no secrets to doing business, just strategies. Instead of spending money and time attending seminars or workshops to find secrets, take a deep breath and revisit your purpose for going into business. Here are a few questions to think about when developing your business strategy:

• Who are your clients and how do they find you?
• What’s your strategy to deliver your product and/or service to prospective clients to meet their needs, solve their problems, or enhance their lives?
• Who are your ideal business clients?
• How well do you know your prospective and current clients?
• What’s your strategy to keep your clients happy and transform them to raving fans?
• What resources will you need to support your strategy?
• What’s your strategy to handle disgruntled clients and build their trust?
• What’s your strategy to continue moving your business forward when funds are low?
• What method(s) will you use to stay connected to your clients for repeat business or referrals?
• How will you demonstrate your appreciation for your client’s business?
• What strategies or tools will you use to measure your client's satisfaction?

Many business secret gurus or experts are simply sharing strategies that were applicable to their personality, business, and clients. Don’t get lured into their strategy because you don’t know the resources (e.g., money, people, or equipment) they had access to when they started. And, their strategy may not be suitable for your business mission, vision, or clients.

Stop seeking secrets; just create and build your strategies. You’ll be amazed of the results you will reap and you will not need to keep this a secret.

Everyone has had a free ride at least once

Entitlements – programs (e.g., Medicare or Social Security) funded by taxpayers that supposedly benefit non-taxpayers. How can this be especially for taxpayers that worked and contributed towards these programs? And, why are Entitlement programs on the chopping block to balance the budget or reduce the deficit in an effort to stop people from riding free?

Free riders are from different ethnic and economic backgrounds. They’re people who cheat on their taxes or avoid paying taxes due to tax shelters buried under complicated tax codes. They’re people who can afford to pay for healthcare, but choose not to; passing their expenses to the shoulders of people strapped with the high cost of health insurance. They're executives who receive government bailouts and bonuses, in spite of their misuse or ill investments of hard working citizens who lost their life savings. They’re also celebrities indulged with expensive gifts they can afford and may not want.

What about the poor? Are they simply sitting and waiting for a free ride or an opportunity to transform their lives? Not all of them. Why are the poor viewed differently when they’re provided with free opportunities or resources to improve their lives? Is it because the benefits to help the poor haven't been deemed a great investment?

Helping people transform their lives to become financial contributors to society can benefit us all. We just have to slow down enough to give others the same ride many of us were granted for free.

Pay attention to what isn't being said

The SOFEI Group has counseled and trained many women who seem to pay more attention to what people tell them (e.g., their significant other or spouse) and not what they show them. Remember the saying Action speaks louder than words. What keeps women clinging onto the words of their loved ones while ignoring their actions? Hope for change, fear, blind love, or their religion?

People normally show us their truth. However, some women second guess their intuition and what’s presented to them. Example, a man’s truth maybe sexual or financial infidelity – the woman’s reality is she’s living or in a relationship with a man who cannot be trusted. A man’s truth maybe, he’s married with children - a woman’s reality that dates him is she’s an adulterer and a person that doesn’t value the sacredness of marriage. Lastly, a man’s truth maybe physical, emotional, or verbal abuse – a woman’s reality is depression, fear; hope for change, low self-esteem or self-worth.

Women have to take charge of their lives and stop allowing their lives to be controlled or manipulated by false statements and be motivated by the true actions of others. Maya Angelou states, When people show you who they are, believe them. And, don’t view their truth through your ‘lens of potential’ because we all have potential, but only action creates change.

If You Think...

If you think you can’t accomplish your dreams and aspirations, renew your mind with “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13)

If you think you’ve been defeated, you are “more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:37)

If you think the world’s system has control over you, remember “greater is He that’s within you, than he that’s in the world.” (I John 4:4)

If you think you’re not loved and no cares for you, “God cares.” (I Peter 5:6-7)

If you think you’ve been cursed and nothing good will ever happen to you, “there is no good thing God will withhold from those who walk upright.” (Psalm 84:11)

If you think your efforts are going in the wrong direction, “the steps of a good [wo]man are ordered by the Lord.” (Psalm 37:23)

If you think your hard work is going unnoticed, “do not grow weary in well doing for in due season you shall reap!” (Galatians 6:9)

If you think your spouse will not surrender his will and life to God, they can become saved by the way we live (I Corinthians 7:13-14).

If you think it's impossible for a loved one’s life to be transformed, “all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27)

If you think God forgets to bless you when others are being showered with blessings, “God is no respecter of persons.” (Acts 10:34)

If you think your sins can’t be forgiven, confess them to God, because “He is just to forgive us of all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9)

If you think you can become saved based on good deeds, “it’s by grace that we are saved, not because of our works.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

If you think you have no purpose to live, God created us for His glory. (Isaiah 43.7)

If you think you’re unattractive, you came from the mind of God and “He fearfully and wonderfully made you”. (Psalm 139:14)

If you think it’s pointless to pursue your dreams or desires, “delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of our heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

If you think your enemies have the upper hand, don’t fret because “God will make your enemies your footstool.” (Psalm 110:1)

If you think everyone is against you because you’re a Christian, “if God is for us He is more than the world is against us.” (Romans 8:31)

If you think your job is drudgery, try completing your tasks “heartily unto the Lord and not unto men.” (Colossians 3:23)

If you think your gift is nothing compared to others, “every good and perfect gift comes from above.” (James 1:17)

If you think your life is headed for a dead end, “trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

If you ever feel alone, God will “never leave us nor forsake us!” (Hebrews 13:5)

If your life is in turmoil and without peace, “keep your mind stayed on God and He’ll keep you in perfect peace.” (Isaiah 26:3)

The correlation between the window and the mind

While sitting in traffic one morning, a woman looked and commented about a dirty white car in her passenger lane. To further validate, she rolled her window down and discovered the white car was clean, and her car window was dirty.

This experience is a valuable example about our minds. Our minds can be as clean or dirty as car windows depending on the environment or the number of times the car or windows are cleaned.

Here are a few suggestions to get a clean mind:

• If you're a habitual negative thinker, get real with yourself and discover the root cause(s)
• Separate yourself from negative people and environments - even family members
• Watch what you feed your mind and determine its impact
• Read God’s word and meditate daily
• Become a non-conformist to the trends of the world
• Eat right and exercise to exert negative energy and get proper rest
• Forgive people that have wronged or hurt you and realize their actions could be a result of unhealed wounds or pain
• When a negative thought comes to mind, immediately replace it with a positive one

Finally, Proverbs 23:7a states, For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.The way you think and feel about yourself and others will be reflected in your behavior. A transformed life starts with a transformed mind.

Now's the Time

Now's the time to not dwell on mistakes of the past nor worry about what the future may hold. It's time to live now. Today, Relishing every beautiful moment; making the most of every opportunity to grow and to serve.

Now's the time to quit wishing that things could have been different yesterday, last month, last year. Today is the day to express your best. Today is the day to express love. Today is the day to be free and happy, at peace in mind and body, successful in all you undertake.

Instead of wondering how things can change, instead of wondering where you can begin, realize the time is now!

You're not bound by old thoughts, old fears, or old beliefs that once held you in bondage.

In Christ you can be free. In Christ you can become new. In Christ you can do all things.

You can be a blessing and live joyously. You have the power to change things now. What are you waiting for? Time is ticking.

The Power of The Tongue

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. This idiom has been quoted by many children to indicate name calling or words will never hurt them.

Proverbs 18:21 states, Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. So, words can hurt or empower!

How will you use your use your tongue today? Will you speak life or death into the lives of others? What will you speak into yourself? If you choose death, why bother speaking?

My Sister's Keeper

When my sisters are weak, I become their strength.
When my sisters are blind, I become their eyes so they can see.
When my sisters cannot hear, I become their ears to help them listen.
When my sisters are perplexed, I become their intuition for certainty.
When my sisters are weeping, I become element that wipes their weeping eyes.
When my sisters are sorrowful, I become their laughter.
When my sisters are experiencing pain, I become their healer.
When society puts my sisters down, I lift them up with honor and praise.
When my sisters reveal their human frailties, I become their covering.
When my sister's husbands or male companions approach me for temporary pleasure, I become my sister's compass to lead their loved ones back home.

I’m my sister’s keeper.

The Least Factor

At least I have a job – but it’s not rewarding, fulfilling, or impactful.
At least I have a man – even though he’s married with children.
At least I know dynamic, elitist people - but don’t have authentic connections.
At least I go to church – but don’t have a spiritual connection to God.
At least I’m liked – but you yearn for unconditional love and encouragement.
At least I have a GED – but was born with potential beyond a general education.

Energy exhausted striving for the least is a fast race to the bottom. If you’re going to run, strive for the top (i.e., your best). No one spends time practicing to enter a race with the intention to lose or end at the bottom.

Got Power?

According to Target Market News 16th annual report Buying Power of Black America, the expenditures of Blacks rose to $507 billion dollars. The top five expenditures were:

• Housing $203.8 billion
• Food $65.2 billion
• Cars/Trucks $29.1 billion
• Clothing $29.3 billion
• Health Care $23.6 billion

Who or what is being empowered as a result of this Black Buying Power? Is the employment gap among Blacks closing? Are the increasing numbers of disparities within the Black Community decreasing? Is the growing trend of poverty amongst low-income, women-led families being addressed? Is this buying power restoring or strengthening the Black family unit - a foundation in society?

It appears the Buying Power of Blacks is generating economic stability and wealth outside of their communities. Yep! It's helping other Ethnic groups establish businesses in socially and economically disadvantaged communities (i.e., underserved Black Communities) for members of their group. And, this buying power depletes the vitality of Black Communities because their money seldom returns.

If Black Buying Power isn't creating long-lasting, positive impacts within the Black Community; this Black Buying Power isn't powerful at all.

Why Plead the Blood?

Do you pray and ask God to stop your car as you approach a stop sign or red light? We may pray if our brakes feel like they're going out. Why do we plead the blood and rebuke the Devil when the doctor tells us, our smoking will lead to lung cancer, our drinking can lead to cirrhosis of the liver, or our sexual activities will lead to a sexually transmitted disease.

What do you believe is the driving force behind our payment of our own death when God sent Jesus Christ to give us life? Can the Devil or our sin nature simply be the blame? When are we going to take responsibility for our choices?

The next time we're diagnosed with some type of ailment, instead of rebuking the Devil and pleading the Blood of Jesus on the symptom, plead the Blood of Jesus Christ on the force that contributes to our emotional, mental, and physical death.

Choices, Choices, Choices!!!

Everything we do in life involves choices. Everyday that God gives us the gift of life, we can decide how to live life. We can choose to be productive or unproductive; get out of or stay in bed; take Metro or drive to work; cook or eat out, wear red instead of blue; send our children to public or private school; eat beef or pork; eat wheat or white bread; drink tap or distilled water; stay single or get married; stay married or get a divorce; choose a new rewarding career, or remain miserable in a monotonous dead end job; serve God or not serve God; pray or not pray, show and give love or show and give hate; be an agnostic, humanist, or monotheistic; become a Muslim, Jehovah’s Witness, or Christian; attend a Baptist, African Methodist Episcopal, Non-Denominational, or a Holiness church; live or die. Hmm, choices, choices, choices!!! Life is full of so many choices.

The choices we make while living on this earth, can result in life’s great gain or destruction. Our eternal destiny is determined by the way we live now! Have you ever pondered the thought of life after death? Do you believe there is life after death? Many of you reading this post may say, “I do believe in life after death”, and may emphatically say, “I know exactly where I’m going”. Do you really believe there is a God? Does your lifestyle exemplify your belief? Where will you spend eternal life? Who or what is your eternal security?

Joshua, Moses’ successor, is an example of a Godly leader who submitted to God, and was successful in being a spiritual influence in leading Israel to remain faithful servants of God. In Joshua’s final message, he stated “Take good heed therefore unto yourselves, that ye love the Lord your God” (Joshua 23:11), and “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve...but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15).

Living life without God, is like a fish living out of water. In order for the fish to live to its fullest potential, it must remain in water because water is its source of life. In order for us to live to our fullest potential, we need to be connected to God - our source of life.  One of the most important choices you can make this day is to choose eternal life and not eternal damnation. Every time we wake up, it is not a mistake or coincidence, it is the will and purpose of God. God allows opportunities to confess our evildoings, repent and turn from our wicked ways, and turn our hearts toward Him to gain eternal security.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know that if you were to die this day, that you would spend eternal life with God, where there will be no more sorrows, heartaches, or evil? Some of you may believe that you have time to give your life to God or you have other things you would like to accomplish before solely surrendering to Him. The Apostle Paul wrote to the church of Thessalonica, “For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night” (I Thessalonians 5:2). One of the biggest accomplishments in life, is knowing that your eternal destiny is with God, and God has provided a way of escape from eternal damnation through His Son, Jesus Christ.

We all are travelers of life, and many of us are traveling nowhere fast. But, you can “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few be there that find it (Matthew 7:13-14). The gateway to eternal life is called “strait” and the only way to live eternally with God is to believe in Jesus Christ, because He alone died for our sins and made us righteous before God (Romans 5:19).

Anger

Anger is a colorless emotion that has become a universal definition of today's Black Woman. Why are Black Women angry?

• Are they tired of the negative connotations associated with their identity?
• Did they grow up without an earthly father that never confirmed their God-given beauty when society didn’t embrace their darker hue?
• Are they tired of playing the role of mother and father when they only have the capacity to play one?
• Are they tired of lifting up others, while concurrently being torn down?
• Are they tired of living pretentiously, and have forgotten how to be authentic?
• Are they living in bondage and don’t know how to break free?
• Did their search for love, affection, and acceptance lead them into the arms of Mr. Wrong?
• Did their career pursuits bring them external wealth, while leaving their spirits depleted?

Whew! There are countless reasons for women to be angry, but none can justify sinning as a result of them. Ephesians 4:26 states, Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath. Women, God knows everyone and everything that has caused you harm or heartache and His preference is for you to be angry at the sin, not the offender. When the sun goes down, this signifies stillness in the night – a time to rest your soul. If you’re clinging to anger when your soul needs rest, you can miss the calmness of God’s spirit. God wants to achieve great works through you; don’t allow your anger to block the way. Vengeance belongs to God. He will repay.(Romans 12:19)

Women let it go and let God move on your behalf!

Ten P's of Business Success

1. Prayer – Spiritual guidance from God to ensure your work will bring glory and honor to Him
2. Passion – The enthusiasm to serve others through your business
3. Purpose – Clear business vision, existence, and desired outcomes
4. Perseverance – Determination to achieve success regardless of obstacles or setbacks
5. Patience – Ability to deal with difficult people and tasks
6. Partnership – Business relationships that strengthens your capacity to better serve your clients
7. Publicity – Life-changing services and/or products that create excitement about your business
8. Power – The power of God when you run out of your might to succeed
9. Performance – Criteria to evaluate and measure the effectiveness and impact of your work
10. Purity – Absence of activities and/or people that can taint your business existence or expansion

Can't Find a Job - Create Your Own

Okay, it’s been weeks, months, maybe a few years and you still haven’t found a J.O.B. If your job search strategy has primarily been behind a computer pushing emails and electronic resumes, your resumes are probably being added to thousands of job seekers in a virtual recruitment center being daily purged by the delete button. Which means your livelihood is somewhat in the hands of a virtual recruiter with the power to move your resume forward or prevent it from reaching your desired destination – the decision maker who can hire you.

Let’s face it, unemployment can stink, but it can also be a sweet aroma when you decide to use this experience as fuel to take charge of your life in spite of the economy! You’ve heard the saying If It’s Going to Be, It’s up to Me. That’s right; it’s going to be up to you to create your own path to financial freedom. Not the government, politicians, Mama, Daddy, Pookie – You! Here are a few suggestions to make it happen:

1. Develop a winning attitude and embrace the challenge to take charge of your life.
2. Define and create your dream job description without thinking about your bills or the economy. Just dream big!
3. Make a two-column list and write the required skills/resources needed to fulfill this dream job on the left side and your skills on the right.
4. Create an interim dream job description if you don’t have 80 percent of the required skills for your ultimate dream job.
5. Create a target-list of people/businesses that can benefit from your skills.
6. Identify your working/business relationship (e.g., contractor, W2 employee, consultant)
7. Make a list of people currently working your dream job and define what makes you stand out from them.
8. Write and send a one-page letter to business owners with your knowledge and interest, passion and skills, a value statement, and business quote from someone that has experienced your work. Also, keep a log of businesses you sent letters to.
9. Send a note or post card expressing your gratitude for business owners taking time to read your letter. Do this repeatedly until you receive a response.
10. Network with people that are employed and have winning attitudes.
11. If you’re low on funds consider the library, churches, community colleges, or volunteerism as resources to acquire the needed skills to create the job of your dreams.

Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

Emotional Intelligence is linked to an ability to identify, assess, and control emotions. Depending on a woman’s estrogen level or her season of life, controlling her emotions can be a challenge – even in the workplace. Here are some tips to strengthen your intelligence:

• Get Real With Yourself - Identify and deal with the source of negative emotions because nothing positive derives from them. Suppressing or camouflaging these emotions with shopping, smoking, or eating are temporary coping mechanisms that can lead to other challenges.
• Know Your Role – Be clear on your purpose for working; the benefits and impact your contributions have on your employer’s bottom-line, and how your role coincides with their mission and core values.
• Don’t React, Get the Facts – There are many women reacting to events based on their emotions instead of facts. Feelings should never be used as a deciding factor in the workplace because they aren’t tangible and cannot be validated.
• Define Your Outcome – For every task you perform, you should have a desired outcome that links to your personal mission and your employer's. Working without a personal mission is like accomplishing empty victories because there isn't a connection to your uniqueness.
• Begin with the End in Mind – Start your day with a clear vision of its direction and destination. What you envision in your mind (direction) will lead to your destination. This is achievable when your emotions are under control.

Want more help to chart your course to emotional intelligence, visit SOFEI Online.

The Number Nine Can Have Power

After spending nine relentless months looking for work at a local one-stop career center, an unemployed single mother regained hope to find employment when she learned how to build a career in customer-service from the results of a complimentary MAPP assessment provided by The SOFEI Group, Inc.

Filled with passion to provide great customer-service to her next prospective employer, this single mother landed nine interviews within nine weeks of attending The SOFEI Group's Microsoft Office Specialist certification training program. Her hope was restored and momentum to find employment soared, but something was preventing her from getting hired - her forgiveness for being unemployed!

This breakthrough came when a career development facilitator of The SOFEI Group looked her square in the eyes and said, “Your smile isn’t in harmony with the way you really feel about yourself, and maybe this spirit is resonating during your interviews - preventing you from getting hired.” Tears streamed down her face, because she had not taken time to confront her feelings of shame and guilt for being unemployed.

The single mother found employment after her nine months bout with the one-stop career center and nine weeks with The SOFEI Group, Inc. She had everything she needed to get employed, but her negative emotions were blocking her path to successful employment.

Our belief about ourselves will create the pathway to our destiny. Is your belief system blocking your path to your next career?

Be What God Wants You to Be

Focus on the person God wants you to be, not the person you used to be. Here’s how:

• Forgive yourself of your past mistakes and use them as stepping stones to your true identity and potential. (Isaiah 43:18)
• Feed your inner being with God’s word, positive thoughts, and positive self-talk. (Philippians 4:8)
• Focus only on your potential and not your limitations. (Isaiah 43:7)
• Do not measure your life against the accomplishments of others. (I Samuel 16:7)
• Govern your life according to God’s plan; not opinions. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

What's the Secret to Success?

Discovering and crafting your gift and sharing it passionately with greatness! In our How to Create a Great Career workshop, we teach people how to build great careers from their innate qualities; not from skills they’ve learned to make a living, but from their God-given gifts to make a life.

During the workshop, we demonstrate how people like Serena and Venus Williams, Tiger Woods, and Michael Jordan were able to get corporate sponsorships because of their ‘greatness’ in their respective sports, not because they had good marketing skills to promote Nike, Hanes, or Buick.

God created us to succeed so others can experience Him through our work. And, He cannot accomplish this through people that know how to wear or drive success; but through people that are willing and spiritually fit to do the work He has called us to do.

Success is a divine right. Don’t allow the definitions or opinions of others hold yours hostage.