Responsibility

• Be responsible for your actions. No one can make you behave the way you do.

• Be responsible for your thoughts. No one can make you think the way you think.

• Take ownership of your feelings. No one can make you feel good or bad.

• Be responsible for your life. No one can make you have a fulfilled or dreadful life.

• Be responsible for how you are treated. You are treated the way you allow yourself to be treated.

• Be responsible for how you treat others. No one can make you respect or disrespect him or her.

• Be responsible for your relationship with God and others. God and no one can make you love them. The choice is ultimately yours.

Equal, But Different

When women stop seeking validation and approval from men, their equity will grow. Some women dress seductively for men. Wear heels for the approval of men. Buy hair and make-up for men. Quit their jobs for men. Surrender their will to men who don't surrender their will to God. Live under the pretense that man knows what's best instead of God.

Should women who live subjectively to men expect equal treatment?

According to Genesis 1:26, God said, Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and to let them have dominion over every living thing that creeps on the earth. And, according to Genesis 1:27, "God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them."

These verses share how God equally created men and women in His image to have dominion over the earth in our own distinctive roles. If women grasp hold of this knowledge, maybe women will seek equality through the Image of God instead of man.

Identity

Have you ever attended a special occasion and observed how individuals describe themselves? “I’m a doctor, lawyer, an accountant, or an entrepreneur." If accomplishments, titles, degrees, or material things were taken away, how would they be identified?

The social arena is inundated with individuals pretending to be something they're not. And what's startling is people who are normally content with their identity, become discontent after interacting with a new social group or environment.

The Apostle Paul was a persecutor of the followers of Christ, and was miraculously converted to a follower himself. Paul realized it was God's grace that made him who he had become - an Ambassador for Christ. As an Ambassador, Paul traveled to different countries to organize churches and spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He was not ashamed of being a servant of God and did not waiver in his new identity with Him.

If you have a relationship with God without titles or a series of letters behind your name, be proud to be His servant. Accomplishments without a relationship with Him are good, but their value outside His will may not hold much weight.

Praise God for who you are - His workmanship for good works preordained before the foundation of the earth (Ephesians 2:10). And walk boldly in your creation because you were fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God (Psalm 139:14).

Pursue Your Greatest Self

In 1996, The SOFEI Group started in the apartment living room of its current Chief Empowerment Officer (CEO) under the umbrella of Virtuous Enterprises, Inc. The organization’s foundation was spiritually and biblically-based because the CEO discovered the challenges many women faced stemmed from how they viewed themselves and their lack of faith and belief in a Being higher than themselves; not because of limited access to resources.

We set our heights to empower women to transform their lives by transforming their minds through biblically-based fellowships and our quarterly newsletter - Inspirational Expressions. As we evolved, we realized we lost focus on our spiritual core.

What was true at our origin stands true today; women cannot achieve or be their greatest without knowing their true power. Unfortunately, this power has been decreased to sexuality and looks, and this power isn’t sustainable like our innate power during seasonal challenges.

Oprah Winfrey states, “Everyone is trying to pursue their greatest being of their true selves.” If this is true for you, here are a few things to consider:

• Seek God first and His wisdom (Matthew 6:13; James 1:5).
• Pray and give thanks always (I Thessalonians 5:17-18).
• See yourself as God does because we were fearfully and wonderfully made in His image (Genesis 1:26; Psalm 139:14).
• Get rid of limited beliefs about God and your potential because through Him all things are possible and we can do any and every thing through His power and strength (Matthew 19:26; Philippians 4:13).
• Govern your life according to God’s will because He will not withhold things that are good from people that walk upright (Psalm 84:11).
• Live life with abundance filled with joy, hope, love, and contentment (John 10:10).
• Trust God with your heart, mind, and soul (Proverbs 3:5).

We are three-dimensional beings and in order to be our true selves we have to connect to our spirit. Our spirit is like our heart, we can’t live without it. If we attempt to live without an ignited spirit, we’re existing and not living the life God intended.

Fret Not

Fret not thyself because of evil men, neither be thou envious at the wicked. – Psalm 24:19

Fretting is energy that can leave you stagnant. Quite frankly, it’s wasted energy. Whether your co-worker gets your dream job without much effort, a friend with a promiscuous past gets married during your season of singleness, a surprise break-up, or a family member moves into their luxury abode while you struggle to pay rent, envy will leave you powerless.

The hurt or disappointment does not entitle you to live a life looking through the lens of anger, rage, or worry. It does give you an opportunity to learn how to accept and deal with the growing prevalence of evil, ill-treatment, and personal deficiencies. Critic Samuel Johnson advised, "He who has so little knowledge of human nature to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief which he purposes to remove."

Thinking, talking, and hoarding envy, keeps it alive and seeking revenge can rob you of positive creativity and internal peace.

According to Roman 12:19, “vengeance belongs to God and He will repay.” So, turn every negative situation and person over to God and put envy to rest.

Don't Die with Your Baton

‘The greatest tragedy in life is not death, but a life without a purpose.” – Dr. Myles Munroe

On Sunday, November 9, Dr. Myles Munroe, a leader, prominent pastor, and author expressed his concern about the next generation of leaders not passing on the legacy of leadership. He described this as – a person dying with their baton. And if someone wanted that baton, they would have to pry it from the hands of the person who was dead.

Exodus 32:9 states, I have seen these people, and indeed they are a stiff-necked people! This verse signifies the depiction of people with hardened hearts and ears who are unwilling to listen or heed to the voice of God. Pride is the culprit of a stiff-necked generation, and this generational type implies growing from the strength of pride.

Individuals who are unwilling to learn are not willing to lead. And, they should not question or complain about the demise of their communities or society? God did not create humanity to receive and keep but to receive and bless! Dr. Munroe used his life to teach people how to discover and live with purpose!

In his book titled, Understanding Your Potential, Dr. Munroe affirms, You must decide if you will rob the world or bless it with rich, valuable, potent, untapped resources locked away within you. If you do, then you have chosen to die with your baton.

Things or Experience?

A survey from Eventbrite found that 78% of Generation Y respondents would rather spend money on an experience than a thing, and 77% say their best memories come from experiences.

In addition, 72% of millennials shared they would like to increase their spending on experiences, and 69% say that their experiences make them feel more connected to their communities, other people, and the world.

In 1998, B. Joseph Pine II and James H. Gilmore published an article - The Experience Economy. In this article, they state businesses must orchestrate memorable events for their customers, and that memory (i.e., experience) itself becomes the product. Savvy businesses use this model and charge for the value of their "experience" product because they know if they create experiences that are exciting and transcendent, they can build a community of fans that will rave about their 'experience.'

Jesus Christ created a community of raving fans because He always gave people what they needed - a spiritual transformation. Example, a Samaritan woman went to Sychar to draw water from a well where Jesus was sitting. Her encounter with Jesus transformed her life when He told her about herself and offered her a drink of 'living' water that would quench her spiritual thirst forever.

After her encounter and transformation, she returned to her town and told everybody about her 'experience' with Jesus. As a matter of fact, she left her pail of water at the well.

Matthew 6:19-21, states, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Experience is what transforms, things pile up. What are you willing to invest in that will lead to your stronger 'inner' being?

A World without Women

What would the world look like without women? Take a few minutes to ponder this thought. What did you come up with?

Women who are abused, neglected, or subjected to sexism, are invisible. And, women weren’t created to be second-class citizens to men, but equally to build a fruitful and noble world for all humanity to enjoy. Subjection of women can stem from pride and ignorance. It’s ignorance when people don’t know the reason for women’s existence; pride when people are self-serving and would do anything to fulfill their wants and needs.

If women want to strengthen their presence and voice in society, they should:

• Discover their purpose and not allow people or external circumstances deter them from their destined path.
• Live according to their uniqueness and convictions; not societal norms.
• Know their rights as a citizen and in the workplace and hold people accountable who inflict harm to them.
• Increase and stabilize their self- and net-worth to create personal and financial stability.
• Stop defining their value based on their sexuality or possessions.
• Connect with people who exalt others and not themselves.
• Be decisive and fearless about their beliefs and choices.

Eve was created to serve as Adam’s helpmate; not his doormat. If women want to make their presence known and voices heard, they should stop walking in the shadow of mankind, and consider walking in the shadow of their Creator - God.

It's Time to Clean House

An elderly woman lost her life in a house fire because she hoarded stuff that didn't add value. Her neighbors recognized how hazardous her house had become and offered assistance to help her clean, to no prevail.

Just as the elderly woman collected worthless items, there are many people who gather and hold onto people and things that deplete or bring detriment to their spiritual or emotional well-being. Worthless items like negative thinking, self-denial, stressful living, defeat, deceit, jealousy, fear, anger, covetousness, envy, anxiety, lack of self-control, hatred, low self-worth and self-esteem.

When we pray and ask God for deliverance from our trials and tribulations, healing from a broken or wounded heart, or for a financial blessing, He can't deliver when our internal being is cluttered. For example, when a pilot attempts to land a plane, the pilot verifies if the pathway is clear. If it isn't, the pilot goes into a holding pattern. God is like the pilot! He wants to deliver your blessing or deliverance, but your pathway isn’t clear.

Your blessing or deliverance is on hold and God is willing, able, and ready to release it; but, you have to clean house! Get rid of everyone and everything that's cluttering your life. It will take commitment, determination, and patience. Don't look for quick cleaning methods or solutions, but roll up your sleeves, and clear areas often missed or overlooked. A clean house (i.e., internal) will make room to receive everything you need to live a focused, fulfilled, and joyous life.

Jewel in The Hands of an Inexperienced Jeweler

Genesis 34 talks about a young virgin woman, named Dinah who “went out to see the daughters of the land” (Genesis 34:1). She was spotted by Shechem - a victim of lust at first sight, who took Dinah and violated her virginity (Genesis 34:2). A Jewel, such as Dinah, was defiled and violated because of Shechem’s strong sexual desire to have her (Genesis 34:3). In Hebrew, the definition of violated or defiled, means to be taken by force (i.e., raped). Shechem’s actions resulted in harm instead of satisfaction because Dinah’s brothers, Levi and Simeon lied, stole, and murdered for revenge.

Dinah was a Jewel taken by force, but there are many women (Jewels) who voluntarily place themselves in the hands of Inexperienced Jewelers due to:

Soft Spoken Words

According to Genesis 34:3, Shechem spake kindly unto the damsel. Women can become prey to soft spoken words if they were raised in negative environments, were victims of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse and never heard or experienced unconditional love.

Low Self-Esteem

Some women with low self-esteem try to validate their self-worth by clinging to the arms of wrong men.

The Biological Clock

Some women rush into marriage based on their biological clock instead of God's. Their friends have gotten married, and started families, and they feel like timing is running out for Mr. Right.

Inexperienced Jeweler Doesn't Know Her Value

This can happen for women with a history of broken and abusive relationships, as well as other issues they haven't allowed God to cleanse and heal.

Fornication

Many women are in the hands of Inexperienced Jewelers for the sake of Eros (lustful) love and have convinced themselves that if the sex is good, everything else in the relationship will fall into place. However, sex was designed to be good under the Union of Holy Matrimony.

Hungry for Love and Affection

If an employee partakes of an unhealthy snack to satisfy their hunger, this can prevent them from enjoying a healthy, nutritious meal because they have become full from the snack. When we're hungry for love and affection we too indulge in unhealthy snacking (i.e., relationships) which blocks us from receiving the main entrée - a man designed especially for us.

So, are You a Jewel In The Hands of An Inexperienced Jeweler?

I Am What I Am!

Growing up as a dark-skinned woman can be difficult. The teasing and caustic remarks can diminish a woman's self-esteem until they discover....

They came from the mind of God.
In the secrecy of their mother’s womb, they were fearfully and wonderfully made.
To live and fulfill God’s divine purpose and perfect will,
with their shape, size, and beautiful skin shade.

They are who they are, by God’s grace.
They have strength, courage, and perseverance to run and finish their race.
Their spirit has been quickened, they are no longer God’s enemy and Satan’s slave.
By God’s unconditional love and power, they were raised from the carnal grave.
As a chosen, redeemed, and predestined Saint, they know how to behave!

Everything God created is good, and we were created to bring glory and honor to Him (Isaiah 43:7). We all have unique features and characteristics to fulfill God’s purpose.

Whether we are light or dark, full or small figured, we should not allow ourselves to be victimized because of who we are, nor should we criticize others for who they are not. When we start accepting and embracing our uniqueness, God will manifest His power to help us love ourselves and others unconditionally.

Responsiblity

• Be responsible for your actions. No one can make you behave the way you do.
  
• Be responsible for your thoughts. No one can make you think what you think.
  
• Take ownership of your feelings. No one can make you feel good or bad.
  
• Be responsible for your life. No one can make you have a fulfilled or dreadful life.
  
• Be responsible for your well being. No one can define who you are or your purpose for living.
  
• Be responsible for how you are treated. You are treated the way you allow yourself to be treated.
  
• Be responsible for how you treat others. No one can make you respect or disrespect him or her.
  
• Be responsible for your relationship with God and others. God and no one can make you love them. The choice is ultimately yours.

I Weep for Sisters Looking

I weep for Sisters looking
For a man that’s so hard to find
My sisters try, they trip, they tremble
Because the search goes on all the time.

I weep for Sisters looking
For security in masculine form
They’re tossed and thrown by emotions
Like a small ship in a big storm.

I weep for Sisters looking
For a “brother” whom they can respect
Not a pretty boy or millionaire
Just someone
With whom
They can connect.

I weep for Sisters looking
Because of the pain and heartbreak
They endure
The loneliness that turns to emptiness
Will there ever be a cure?

I say Yes, Dear Sisters,
There is a cure
A real cure from my point of view
For perhaps wisdom is dictating
That you pray and wait,
Serve and work
Until
Mr. Right
Finds You!

By Evangelist Emanuel Scott, Jr.

Fearfully Made

A young girl ran to her mother after school and said, "Let’s hurry and get to the car because I don’t want to get a tan." Mother’s response, "Why are you so afraid of getting a tan?" Her daughter’s response, "I’m not, but a girl in my group asked me if I was dark skinned because of the sun?"

A portion of Psalm 139:14 states, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works. Humanity was created in the image of God and He has never spoken negatively to Himself or to the people He chose to make an impact throughout the world based on their uniqueness.

Our children are our future. Let’s be vigilant of what we feed them – directly or indirectly. Critiquing or teasing people about their looks (especially their hues) is a waste of time. Everything God made is good and was created for His glory. If God can see the beauty, good, and glory in His creation, why can't we?

Pay attention to what isn't being said

The SOFEI Group has counseled and trained many women who seem to pay more attention to what people tell them (e.g., their significant other or spouse) and not what they show them. Remember the saying Action speaks louder than words. What keeps women clinging onto the words of their loved ones while ignoring their actions? Hope for change, fear, blind love, or their religion?

People normally show us their truth. However, some women second guess their intuition and what’s presented to them. Example, a man’s truth maybe sexual or financial infidelity – the woman’s reality is she’s living or in a relationship with a man who cannot be trusted. A man’s truth maybe, he’s married with children - a woman’s reality that dates him is she’s an adulterer and a person that doesn’t value the sacredness of marriage. Lastly, a man’s truth maybe physical, emotional, or verbal abuse – a woman’s reality is depression, fear; hope for change, low self-esteem or self-worth.

Women have to take charge of their lives and stop allowing their lives to be controlled or manipulated by false statements and be motivated by the true actions of others. Maya Angelou states, When people show you who they are, believe them. And, don’t view their truth through your ‘lens of potential’ because we all have potential, but only action creates change.

If You Think...

If you think you can’t accomplish your dreams and aspirations, renew your mind with “I can do all things through Christ who strengtheneth me.” (Philippians 4:13)

If you think you’ve been defeated, you are “more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:37)

If you think the world’s system has control over you, remember “greater is He that’s within you, than he that’s in the world.” (I John 4:4)

If you think you’re not loved and no cares for you, “God cares.” (I Peter 5:6-7)

If you think you’ve been cursed and nothing good will ever happen to you, “there is no good thing God will withhold from those who walk upright.” (Psalm 84:11)

If you think your efforts are going in the wrong direction, “the steps of a good [wo]man are ordered by the Lord.” (Psalm 37:23)

If you think your hard work is going unnoticed, “do not grow weary in well doing for in due season you shall reap!” (Galatians 6:9)

If you think your spouse will not surrender his will and life to God, they can become saved by the way we live (I Corinthians 7:13-14).

If you think it's impossible for a loved one’s life to be transformed, “all things are possible with God.” (Mark 10:27)

If you think God forgets to bless you when others are being showered with blessings, “God is no respecter of persons.” (Acts 10:34)

If you think your sins can’t be forgiven, confess them to God, because “He is just to forgive us of all unrighteousness.” (I John 1:9)

If you think you can become saved based on good deeds, “it’s by grace that we are saved, not because of our works.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

If you think you have no purpose to live, God created us for His glory. (Isaiah 43.7)

If you think you’re unattractive, you came from the mind of God and “He fearfully and wonderfully made you”. (Psalm 139:14)

If you think it’s pointless to pursue your dreams or desires, “delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of our heart.” (Psalm 37:4)

If you think your enemies have the upper hand, don’t fret because “God will make your enemies your footstool.” (Psalm 110:1)

If you think everyone is against you because you’re a Christian, “if God is for us He is more than the world is against us.” (Romans 8:31)

If you think your job is drudgery, try completing your tasks “heartily unto the Lord and not unto men.” (Colossians 3:23)

If you think your gift is nothing compared to others, “every good and perfect gift comes from above.” (James 1:17)

If you think your life is headed for a dead end, “trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not unto your understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6)

If you ever feel alone, God will “never leave us nor forsake us!” (Hebrews 13:5)

If your life is in turmoil and without peace, “keep your mind stayed on God and He’ll keep you in perfect peace.” (Isaiah 26:3)

The correlation between the window and the mind

While sitting in traffic one morning, a woman looked and commented about a dirty white car in her passenger lane. To further validate, she rolled her window down and discovered the white car was clean, and her car window was dirty.

This experience is a valuable example about our minds. Our minds can be as clean or dirty as car windows depending on the environment or the number of times the car or windows are cleaned.

Here are a few suggestions to get a clean mind:

• If you're a habitual negative thinker, get real with yourself and discover the root cause(s)
• Separate yourself from negative people and environments - even family members
• Watch what you feed your mind and determine its impact
• Read God’s word and meditate daily
• Become a non-conformist to the trends of the world
• Eat right and exercise to exert negative energy and get proper rest
• Forgive people that have wronged or hurt you and realize their actions could be a result of unhealed wounds or pain
• When a negative thought comes to mind, immediately replace it with a positive one

Finally, Proverbs 23:7a states, For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.The way you think and feel about yourself and others will be reflected in your behavior. A transformed life starts with a transformed mind.

Now's the Time

Now's the time to not dwell on mistakes of the past nor worry about what the future may hold. It's time to live now. Today, Relishing every beautiful moment; making the most of every opportunity to grow and to serve.

Now's the time to quit wishing that things could have been different yesterday, last month, last year. Today is the day to express your best. Today is the day to express love. Today is the day to be free and happy, at peace in mind and body, successful in all you undertake.

Instead of wondering how things can change, instead of wondering where you can begin, realize the time is now!

You're not bound by old thoughts, old fears, or old beliefs that once held you in bondage.

In Christ you can be free. In Christ you can become new. In Christ you can do all things.

You can be a blessing and live joyously. You have the power to change things now. What are you waiting for? Time is ticking.

The Power of The Tongue

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. This idiom has been quoted by many children to indicate name calling or words will never hurt them.

Proverbs 18:21 states, Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. So, words can hurt or empower!

How will you use your use your tongue today? Will you speak life or death into the lives of others? What will you speak into yourself? If you choose death, why bother speaking?

My Sister's Keeper

When my sisters are weak, I become their strength.
When my sisters are blind, I become their eyes so they can see.
When my sisters cannot hear, I become their ears to help them listen.
When my sisters are perplexed, I become their intuition for certainty.
When my sisters are weeping, I become element that wipes their weeping eyes.
When my sisters are sorrowful, I become their laughter.
When my sisters are experiencing pain, I become their healer.
When society puts my sisters down, I lift them up with honor and praise.
When my sisters reveal their human frailties, I become their covering.
When my sister's husbands or male companions approach me for temporary pleasure, I become my sister's compass to lead their loved ones back home.

I’m my sister’s keeper.