Breaking the Silence: Financial Abuse and the Path to Recovery

Money is supposed to give us choices; the freedom to decide where we live, how we provide for our children, and what kind of future we build. However, for too many women, money becomes a tool of control rather than a means of independence.

Financial abuse is one of the quietest forms of violence. You won’t see bruises or scars, but you’ll find fear written between the lines of bank statements, hidden credit cards, and years of lost confidence.

At The SOFEI Group, we’ve met women who’ve been told, “You don’t need your own account,” or “Let me handle the money, you’ll only mess it up.” Those aren’t just words. They are barriers to freedom, and it is time to break the silence.

What Financial Abuse Really Looks Like

Financial abuse doesn’t always announce itself loudly. Sometimes, it hides behind love, protection, or the guise of “help.” But the signs are there.

• You’re not allowed to see the bills or log into the bank account.
• Your partner keeps you from working or takes your paycheck “for the family.”
• You’re questioned or criticized for every dollar you spend.
• Credit cards or loans opened in your name without your knowledge.
• Your partner attempts to make you feel guilty for wanting to achieve financial independence.

Over time, it erodes your confidence. You begin to doubt your worth, your judgment, and your ability to stand on your own. And that’s precisely what financial abuse aims to achieve — fostering dependence and silencing your power.

Breaking Free: Small Steps That Lead to Big Change

The good news? You can start rebuilding control one decision at a time.

1. Start documenting everything - Save pay stubs, statements, screenshots, and anything that tells your financial story. You might not use them right away, but they’ll help you rebuild credit and trust in yourself later.

2. Open a separate account - Even if you start with $10, that account is more than a bank balance; it’s a symbol of freedom.

3. Find someone safe to talk to - You don’t have to face this alone. Organizations like the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV), local shelters, or trusted nonprofits can help you create a safety and financial plan.

4. Rebuild your financial identity - Check your credit report, close fraudulent accounts, and start small with manageable goals. Programs like Money Smart for Adults can teach you practical steps that can lead to lasting change.

5. Join a community that believes in you - Healing isn’t just about numbers; it’s about connection. That’s why SOFEI’s programs bring women together to learn, grow, and rediscover their power, providing a supportive community that believes in you.

How The SOFEI Group Helps Women to Rebuild

We’ve seen what financial control can do to a woman’s spirit. But we’ve also seen the incredible courage it takes when she decides she’s had enough and takes the first step towards freedom.

Through our programs, events, services (e.g., Moneyed Women, SOFEIOnline, and the Breaking Barriers Series), and partnerships we help women:

• Rebuild credit and strengthen financial confidence.
• Gain in-demand career and technical skills.
• Learn budgeting and business basics that create stability.
• Reconnect with other women who understand the journey firsthand.

When women rebuild together, the shame disappears and the strength reemerges.

Your Voice Matters

If you’re reading this and realizing that your relationship with money hasn’t felt safe or fair, please know: you are not alone, and you are not broken. Many others have walked this path and found their way to freedom.

Every dollar you save, every class you take, and every decision you make toward independence is a declaration — I deserve to be free.

You don’t have to have it all figured out today. You have to take one brave step.

Because healing isn’t about what you’ve lost.

It’s about what you’re ready to rebuild.

Take the Next Step

Join us at sofeigroup.org to explore empowerment programs that help women rise from economic instability. Or sign up for our next Moneyed Women Workshop to start your journey toward financial confidence and control.