Autism 101

Approximately, 1 in 54 children is diagnosed with an Autism Spectrem Disorder (ASD) in the United States. And, many parents, teachers, and caregivers are scrambling to understand:

• What is ASD?
• The cause of ASD
• The signs of ASD
• ASD symptoms

If you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver of a child that may have ASD, the Autism 101 online course will guide you through these challenging questions. The SOFEI Group wants to provide you with information and resources to help you create a plan to support your child emotionally, physically, and academically. We believe that the more informed you are, the more equipped your child will be for success.

Poverty is Colorblind

When you hear the word poverty, what's the first image you see or your first thought? Women and children in an impoverished country or women with polished nails holding a sign for help? If you could help a group of women living with poverty, which group would you choose and why?

Poverty is more than having more bills at the end of the month than money. It's extreme, situational, institutional, or generational; making it difficult to create pathways to economic independence, wealth, and stability.

When we seek support or investment in our work to decrease the trend of poverty amongst women throughout the Washington region, we often receive a plethora of reasons of why we shouldn't help them because their level of poverty isn't as severe as women experiencing poverty in other countries. A local pastor stated, You haven't seen poverty until you've been to a country where people have to drink and bathe in dirty water. Now, that's poverty. What we have here (i.e., in the U.S.), isn't poverty. Does this mean we should negate our efforts to help women and children experiencing poverty in the U.S. if they have access to clean water?

When our lives are threatened by a disease, we collaborate our energy and resources to find a cure, or a way to stop it from spreading. We don't assess if one disease deserves more attention than the other because of the impact the disease may have on all humanity.

Ignoring the plight of poverty will not eradicate it, but heighten it because poverty affects all ethnicities and nationalities.

Do you want to get well?

A fourteen year-old boy was stabbed to death in an effort to protect his mother from her live-in boyfriend. According to numerous sources, Prince George’s County has the highest rate of domestic violence cases in the state of Maryland; despite its recognition as one of the most affluent counties for African Americans.

The mother praised her son for his efforts to protect her when she spoke outside Potomac High School – where her son attended. She described her relationship with her live-in boyfriend as a friendship and stated, “I think sometimes you never think that helping someone will end up in this matter.” Our paraphrase, she never thought her efforts to help someone would result in her son’s death.

John Chapter 5 talks about a pool called Bethesda where sick people laid in wait for an angel to stir the pool water and whoever stepped in first would get healed from whatever disease they had. A man lying by the pool with an infirmity for thirty-eight years caught Jesus’ attention because He knew the infirmed man suffered with this condition for a long time. Jesus asked the infirmed man, “Do you want to be made well?” The infirmed man’s response, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; but while I am coming, another steps down before me.”

The debilitating health of many people lingers too long because of their beliefs and emotional strongholds. Unfortunately, many women fall prey to men who play victim of their inability to be fully engaged in society as a result of unhealed wounds or their choice to hold onto behaviors that contribute to violence. For thirty-eight years, the infirmed man waited for assistance to get in the pool of Bethesda. Jesus could have laid him in the pool, but instead, He told the man to, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.” Immediately, the man was made well, he took up his bed, and he walked.

Too many women are dying by the hands of men who haven’t recognized their need to get healed. So, women please stop jeopardizing the safety and sanity of yourself and family in the name of love and salvation. You do not have the power to heal or save, but God does. And, his healing and salvation is available to anyone who needs and wants it.

I’m Not One of Them

My parents raised me different.

My parents told me, "Make sure you can take care of yourself," and I do.

These women need to stop lying on their backs, making babies they can’t take care of.

I’m not giving my money to support lazy women that don’t want to work.

These statements are from single mothers who were approached by The SOFEI Group to help us achieve our mission of empowering women to economic independence. The single mothers were divorced, widowed, and a sole parent with a strong support system.

What’s interesting is how proud they were to share their distinction without knowledge of our current and prospective clients. It will be impossible for women to thrive as a cohesive unit when we’re moved so swiftly to divide. Why talk about the wage gap between men and women or any other gaps that supposedly prevent women from progressing, when women allow social, political, financial, or ethnical differences create wedges?

Many women who have experienced or are experiencing poverty, did not choose it! They do not enjoy relying on the government or others to feed their children or meet their basic living needs. And, it's unfortunate these women experience a different type of judgment when they need assistance to regain their momentum after a divorce, death of a spouse, spousal abandonment, decline in health, or job loss.

Today's society is heading towards a downward spiral because women who carry the weight of poverty aren't participating at their best capacity. Madeleine Albright, (former United States Ambassador to the United Nations and US Secretary of State) states, "There's a special place in hell for women that don't help each other."

Women have the power to transform our society to be more inclusive and not divisive. It's a matter of choice. Which will you choose?

Jewel in The Hands of an Inexperienced Jeweler

Genesis 34 talks about a young virgin woman, named Dinah who “went out to see the daughters of the land” (Genesis 34:1). She was spotted by Shechem - a victim of lust at first sight, who took Dinah and violated her virginity (Genesis 34:2). A Jewel, such as Dinah, was defiled and violated because of Shechem’s strong sexual desire to have her (Genesis 34:3). In Hebrew, the definition of violated or defiled, means to be taken by force (i.e., raped). Shechem’s actions resulted in harm instead of satisfaction because Dinah’s brothers, Levi and Simeon lied, stole, and murdered for revenge.

Dinah was a Jewel taken by force, but there are many women (Jewels) who voluntarily place themselves in the hands of Inexperienced Jewelers due to:

Soft Spoken Words

According to Genesis 34:3, Shechem spake kindly unto the damsel. Women can become prey to soft spoken words if they were raised in negative environments, were victims of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse and never heard or experienced unconditional love.

Low Self-Esteem

Some women with low self-esteem try to validate their self-worth by clinging to the arms of wrong men.

The Biological Clock

Some women rush into marriage based on their biological clock instead of God's. Their friends have gotten married, and started families, and they feel like timing is running out for Mr. Right.

Inexperienced Jeweler Doesn't Know Her Value

This can happen for women with a history of broken and abusive relationships, as well as other issues they haven't allowed God to cleanse and heal.

Fornication

Many women are in the hands of Inexperienced Jewelers for the sake of Eros (lustful) love and have convinced themselves that if the sex is good, everything else in the relationship will fall into place. However, sex was designed to be good under the Union of Holy Matrimony.

Hungry for Love and Affection

If an employee partakes of an unhealthy snack to satisfy their hunger, this can prevent them from enjoying a healthy, nutritious meal because they have become full from the snack. When we're hungry for love and affection we too indulge in unhealthy snacking (i.e., relationships) which blocks us from receiving the main entrée - a man designed especially for us.

So, are You a Jewel In The Hands of An Inexperienced Jeweler?

I Am What I Am!

Growing up as a dark-skinned woman can be difficult. The teasing and caustic remarks can diminish a woman's self-esteem until they discover....

They came from the mind of God.
In the secrecy of their mother’s womb, they were fearfully and wonderfully made.
To live and fulfill God’s divine purpose and perfect will,
with their shape, size, and beautiful skin shade.

They are who they are, by God’s grace.
They have strength, courage, and perseverance to run and finish their race.
Their spirit has been quickened, they are no longer God’s enemy and Satan’s slave.
By God’s unconditional love and power, they were raised from the carnal grave.
As a chosen, redeemed, and predestined Saint, they know how to behave!

Everything God created is good, and we were created to bring glory and honor to Him (Isaiah 43:7). We all have unique features and characteristics to fulfill God’s purpose.

Whether we are light or dark, full or small figured, we should not allow ourselves to be victimized because of who we are, nor should we criticize others for who they are not. When we start accepting and embracing our uniqueness, God will manifest His power to help us love ourselves and others unconditionally.

The correlation between the window and the mind

While sitting in traffic one morning, a woman looked and commented about a dirty white car in her passenger lane. To further validate, she rolled her window down and discovered the white car was clean, and her car window was dirty.

This experience is a valuable example about our minds. Our minds can be as clean or dirty as car windows depending on the environment or the number of times the car or windows are cleaned.

Here are a few suggestions to get a clean mind:

• If you're a habitual negative thinker, get real with yourself and discover the root cause(s)
• Separate yourself from negative people and environments - even family members
• Watch what you feed your mind and determine its impact
• Read God’s word and meditate daily
• Become a non-conformist to the trends of the world
• Eat right and exercise to exert negative energy and get proper rest
• Forgive people that have wronged or hurt you and realize their actions could be a result of unhealed wounds or pain
• When a negative thought comes to mind, immediately replace it with a positive one

Finally, Proverbs 23:7a states, For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.The way you think and feel about yourself and others will be reflected in your behavior. A transformed life starts with a transformed mind.

The Least Factor

At least I have a job – but it’s not rewarding, fulfilling, or impactful.
At least I have a man – even though he’s married with children.
At least I know dynamic, elitist people - but don’t have authentic connections.
At least I go to church – but don’t have a spiritual connection to God.
At least I’m liked – but you yearn for unconditional love and encouragement.
At least I have a GED – but was born with potential beyond a general education.

Energy exhausted striving for the least is a fast race to the bottom. If you’re going to run, strive for the top (i.e., your best). No one spends time practicing to enter a race with the intention to lose or end at the bottom.

Got Power?

According to Target Market News 16th annual report Buying Power of Black America, the expenditures of Blacks rose to $507 billion dollars. The top five expenditures were:

• Housing $203.8 billion
• Food $65.2 billion
• Cars/Trucks $29.1 billion
• Clothing $29.3 billion
• Health Care $23.6 billion

Who or what is being empowered as a result of this Black Buying Power? Is the employment gap among Blacks closing? Are the increasing numbers of disparities within the Black Community decreasing? Is the growing trend of poverty amongst low-income, women-led families being addressed? Is this buying power restoring or strengthening the Black family unit - a foundation in society?

It appears the Buying Power of Blacks is generating economic stability and wealth outside of their communities. Yep! It's helping other Ethnic groups establish businesses in socially and economically disadvantaged communities (i.e., underserved Black Communities) for members of their group. And, this buying power depletes the vitality of Black Communities because their money seldom returns.

If Black Buying Power isn't creating long-lasting, positive impacts within the Black Community; this Black Buying Power isn't powerful at all.

Women's Liberation - A Christ Movement

There are numerous women and girls that empower others to dominate their lives. Teenage girls give up their virginity to boys that don't understand their value or worth – in search of love and affection. Adult women put their dreams and aspirations on a 20-year hold to take care of their family - ending up broke or homeless due to divorce. Or, single mothers that expand their family when a large source of their household income is at the expense of public assistance or a social service agency. The list goes on and on and on.....

For years, The SOFEI Group (formerly known as Virtuous Enterprises, Inc.) has provided services to enrich the quality of lives of women and girls. And, during these years, I've discovered programs and services are as effective as the people that want to invest in themselves to change the direction of their lives. Change starts within! This is where the power starts too - within the core of our being.

For Women’s History Month, I’m calling women to reclaim their power through a Christ Liberation Movement! God did not create us to live in bondage. He created us to demonstrate His glory and power through us! Second Corinthians 3:17b states, "Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty" (freedom). This is the source of our power - God's spirit, not sex, designer clothes, jewelry, or money. The spirit feeds the soul (e.g., mind and emotions) and when our spirits are subjugated, our lives are too.

So women, let go of the past and claim your freedom today by accepting Jesus Christ as your personal savior. He will never leave you nor forsake you. He will never put you down or criticize you because you are fearfully and wonderfully made! Don’t worry about what others think or say. Be like Nike and Just Do It! You have more to gain than to lose! Take back your power today and empower other women and girls to do the same.

Deborah M. Avens
Chief Empowerment Officer

I Am What I Am! - I Corinthians 15:10

CNN and AC360° did a special show on Black or White: Kids on Race. Kids’ views about race were conducted through a doll bias study to determine their racial beliefs, attitudes, and skin tone preferences. This segment brought back memories of the negative biases I experienced growing up as a dark skinned girl in the Washington region – biases I thought were diminished. And, I was shocked to see the percentage of negative connotations (e.g., dumb or mean child) associated with a darker hue and positive connotations (e.g., smart or nice child) associated with lighter skin tones.

Every day kids teased me of my blackness and I was confused because I didn’t realize they were teasing me about my skin color. The teases became unbearable; and I would go home and look in the bathroom mirror, pray to God to make me lighter. When I opened my eyes and saw I was still dark, I cried even more and my self-esteem plummeted.

My view of myself and skin color had a direct correlation to my family. The pride I had about my skin color also diminished when I wasn’t affirmed by them. And, I believe the views and attitudes of the doll bias study participants were shaped by their parents or environment.

Racial bias can be eradicated when race is viewed through the eyes of God and not man. When I gave my life to Christ, I discovered in His word, God created me just I am (i.e., skin color, height, and size) for His glory! My spirit and soul are filled with confidence and joy because my creation in God isn’t a mistake. I affirm my daughters their beauty is one of God’s greatest creations and I pray more people will embrace God and His creation of humankind too and stop allowing society to define our beauty because the next generation depends on it! Psalm 139:14

Deborah M. Avens

I Deserve a Peace of Mind

Thou will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on me. (Isaiah 26:3)

One of our clients has been without bipolar medication for months and has missed counseling sessions designed to help stabilize her mind and life because her monthly disability income exceeds her eligibility to receive medical and counseling assistance. Her inability to receive bipolar treatment is an impediment to her health, family, and prospective employers.

Several studies show, African-American and Latino women experience a higher rate of depressive symptoms and psychological distress compared to white women due to a convergence of societal, biological, and socioeconomical factors. Some of the risk factors are: stress due to racial discrimination; health problems (e.g., hypertension and cardiovascular disease); educational attainment, single marital status, and being a working mother.

Depression screening and prevention programs must take into account these and additional factors in order to be successful, according to Annelle Primm, M.D., M.P.H., who spoke at the APA Institute on Psychiatric Services in San Diego in October.

Primm pointed out that development of depression is affected by chronic stress and the “subsequent immuno-regulatory effects associated with living as a member of a marginalized racial and gender group.”

Social forces such as racism and sexism “impose continuous psychological stress and increase the likelihood of developing physical and mental illnesses,” she noted.

Obesity may also contribute to an increased risk for developing depression in African-American women, Primm pointed out. “There is a negative association between obesity and mental well-being,” she said.

African-American women have a greater prevalence of obesity (37.7 percent) when compared with white women (23.5 percent), she said, and overeating may begin as a strategy to cope with sexual abuse, racism, classism, and poverty in African-American women.

Primm cited the 2001 report of former Surgeon General David Satcher, M.D., Mental Health: Culture, Race, and Ethnicity, which brought to light the problems many minority groups have in accessing mental health services.

“On top of that,” she said, “we know that people of color who are able to access services are less likely to receive quality mental health care,” which can be partially attributed to a lack of culturally and linguistically competent mental health care clinicians.

On a broad level, policies that target poverty reduction would“ greatly benefit mental health outcomes” for African-American women.

More specifically, successful depression-prevention campaigns should incorporate “resiliency factors” employed by many African-American women, such as spirituality, which may help some to cope with depressive symptoms.

Preventive strategies should also incorporate nutrition and exercise, Primm noted.

She also recommended that depression screening be implemented to a greater extent at prenatal clinics located in public health facilities, welfare programs, and vocational-assistance programs.

In addition, it is crucial that screening programs link women who show depression symptoms to culturally competent treatment services in their community.

“What is good for African-American women in terms of preventing depression is good for all women in general and for the whole country,” Primm declared.

VEINC provides spiritual, personal, and career enrichment services to help our clients 'holistically'; however, when our clients cannot afford medical treatment, we cannot not prepare them for gainful and successful employment.

It's quite challenging for women to live in peace and harmony when faced with choosing to pay rent, feed their children, or purchase medicine. But, if women begin to focus on what they have and want, instead of their lack, this could possibly be an antidote to their financial and/or mental woes.

There's a saying, What you put your attention on, grows stronger in your life. When we place our attention on fear and lack, this will manifest in our lives and create anxiety which will immobilize us to create a life of harmony and balance. If you're a woman that's experiencing depression seek help from God and lay your concerns at His feet because He cares for you (I Peter 5:7).

Try New Life Ministries for resources and guidance to help you deal with depression. And, try God by accepting Him into your life, reading, studying, and mediating on His Word daily to gain the peace He has promised when your mind is on stayed on Him!

Our Gifts Are Making Future Impacts!

In 2006, VEINC donated "fully-loaded" Dell computers to eleven single mothers and one single student returning to school to complete their undergraduate or graduate degrees and online certification programs to advance their careers through our Computer Donation Initiative. This initiative was made possible after receiving a Capacity Building grant from the Washington Area Women's Foundation to establish a wireless network to share training resources with staff members, volunteers, and trainees.

Recently, VEINC received updates from two donation recipients - Tracy Henry - a medical student in her final year at Georgetown University School of Medicine and Joetta Fluellyn - a single mother on how this initiative helped them achieve their educational goals.

Tracy Henry shared:

• Prior to receiving the donated computer, she had to use computers at the school library which limited her access to computers and online study time. The donated computer allowed her to study from the safety and comfort of her home;
  
• Most of Tracy's lectures were online and the donated computer allowed her to take advantage of the 'free' online lectures and required text books; and
  
• The donated computer enabled her to stay abreast of her coursework because of easy access to her own computer.

Joetta Fluellyn, shared:

• The donated computer encouraged her to enroll and participate in online paralegal and medical certification training; and
  
• The donated computer helped her son to improve his school grades with online tutorial services. Prior to receiving the computer, Joetta said, her son was a little behind in his schoolwork and she has seen a tremendous boost in his esteem.

VEINC believes education and technology are key components to decrease the growing trend of poverty amongst low-income families headed by women. VEINC is proud to know our Computer Donation Initiative is helping Tracy Henry complete her studies at Georgetown University School of Medicine and provided Joetta Fluellyn and her family access to online certification training to enhance her skills to transition to a livable-wage career, and online tutoring which helped her son keep up with his schoolwork and boosting his self-esteem.

Over 2,000 years ago, God gave the world His greatest gift - His Son, Jesus Christ to set captives free and to give individuals an abundant life. This Gift is still impacting the world for people willing to receive Him as their Savior. During this Christmas Season, don't give for the sake of giving, but give to make a life-long impact, because our communities sorely need it!

We Have Not, Because We Change Not - Job Hunting

Job Hunting is a full-time job, and it’s amazing how lackadaisical many individuals approach job search until their bills pill up or state benefits end - creating a ‘reactive’ job search strategy out of anxiety and fear instead of a ‘proactive’ job search strategy out of desire and contribution. Seeking employment out of fear and anxiety will resonate during a job interview of any prospective employer. And, following are some tips to prevent you from landing a career that’s a mismatch to your core values, skills, and abilities.

Return to Your First Love
If you’re unemployed and your life only consisted of work, maybe your unemployment is a time to re-evaluate your life to determine your true values and passion. We were not created to simply work to pay bills, we were created to utilize our gifts and talents to bring glory and honor to God.

Discover your Skills and Aptitude
Many people are working in careers that are a total mismatch to their skills and abilities, vocational interests, work values and priorities, and temperament. This is prevalent because some jobs are secured for ‘debt relief.' An assessment is a great tool to help you match your career(s) to your strengths.

Create a Job Search Strategy
Once you’ve discovered your strengths, create a strategy to find the career that matches your assessment results. A strategy could consist of prioritizing your time, setting and sticking to a regular job search schedule, internet search, informational interviews, and developing and maintaining a career tracking log (this can help you determine your follow-up strategy).

Update your Resume
What does your resume say about you? Informational – it reads like a story with your employment history? Impact – demonstrates your abilities to make positive impacts and your contributions. Revise your resume to match your target career (don’t fabricate), highlighting skills equivalent to the career requirements. Common resume types to consider are functional, combination, or chronological.

Carry Your Resume like American Express...
Don’t Leave Home without It. If you frequent different business establishments like Starbucks for example, start a conversation with a familiar face to learn what they do and where they work. This conversation could potentially be your ticket to a career opportunity of your dreams.

Change Your Voicemail Greeting
Your music genre or ‘slang’ used for your voicemail greeting may need to be changed when you're conducting job search. Your voicemail greeting should be professional and clean inviting any prospective employer to consider you for an employment opportunity.

Approach Each Prospective Employer as a New Prospective Client
You have what they need, they have what you need. And, this could be the beginning of a wonderful relationship. Your approach to any relationship shouldn’t be unilateral. This is especially true for an Employer/Employee relationship. Interviewers can tell when interviewees are simply looking for work to fulfill their own desires and this can or will be a turn-off to any prospective employer. Demonstrate what you have to offer and how your skills can make an impact on the bottom-line of the company. Definitely demonstrate the benefits of adding you to their team.

Network, Network, Network
Only about 15 percent of available positions are advertised. So, get out from the computer and network. Consider joining an employment agency, temporary agency, or volunteer with the intent to demonstrate what you have to offer first instead of seeking what you need. Most businesses and employment opportunities are secured through relationships and not the internet, periodicals, or newspaper.