Sister Table Talk

A young girl ran to her mother after school and said, "Let’s hurry and get to the car because I don’t want to get a tan." Mother’s response, "Why are you so afraid of getting a tan?" Her daughter’s response, "I’m not, but a girl in my group asked me if I was dark skinned because of the sun?" A portion of Psalm 139:14 states, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are thy works. Humanity was created in the image of God and He has never spoken negatively to Himself or to the people He chose to make an impact throughout the world based on their uniqueness. Our children are our future. Let’s be vigilant of what we feed them – directly or indirectly. Critiquing or teasing people about their looks (especially their hues) is a waste of time. Everything God made is good and was created for His glory. If God can see the beauty, good, and glory in His creation, why can't we?

The SOFEI Group has counseled and trained many women who seem to pay more attention to what people tell them (e.g., their significant other or spouse) and not what they show them. Remember the saying Action speaks louder than words . What keeps women clinging onto the words of their loved ones while ignoring their actions? Hope for change, fear, blind love, or their religion? People normally show us their truth. However, some women second guess their intuition and what’s presented to them. Example, a man’s truth maybe sexual or financial infidelity – the woman’s reality is she’s living or in a relationship with a man who cannot be trusted. A man’s truth maybe, he’s married with children - a woman’s reality that dates him is she’s an adulterer and a person that doesn’t value the sacredness of marriage. Lastly, a man’s truth maybe physical, emotional, or verbal abuse – a woman’s reality is depression, fear; hope for change, low self-esteem or self-worth. Women have to take c

While sitting in traffic one morning, a woman looked and commented about a dirty white car in her passenger lane. To further validate, she rolled her window down and discovered the white car was clean, and her car window was dirty. This experience is a valuable example about our minds. Our minds can be as clean or dirty as car windows depending on the environment or the number of times the car or windows are cleaned. Here are a few suggestions to get a clean mind: If you're a habitual negative thinker, get real with yourself and discover the root cause(s) Separate yourself from negative people and environments - even family members Watch what you feed your mind and determine its impact Read God’s word and meditate daily Become a non-conformist to the trends of the world Eat right and exercise to exert negative energy and get proper rest Forgive people that have wronged or hurt you and realize their actions could be a result of unhealed wounds or pain When a negative though

Now's the time to not dwell on mistakes of the past nor worry about what the future may hold. It's time to live now. Today, Relishing every beautiful moment; making the most of every opportunity to grow and to serve. Now's the time to quit wishing that things could have been different yesterday, last month, last year. Today is the day to express your best. Today is the day to express love. Today is the day to be free and happy, at peace in mind and body, successful in all you undertake. Instead of wondering how things can change, instead of wondering where you can begin, realize the time is now! You're not bound by old thoughts, old fears, or old beliefs that once held you in bondage. In Christ you can be free. In Christ you can become new. In Christ you can do all things. You can be a blessing and live joyously. You have the power to change things now. What are you waiting for? Time is ticking.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. This idiom has been quoted by many children to indicate name calling or words will never hurt them. Proverbs 18:21 states, Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. So, words can hurt or empower! How will you use your use your tongue today? Will you speak life or death into the lives of others? What will you speak into yourself? If you choose death, why bother speaking?

At least I have a job – but it’s not rewarding, fulfilling, or impactful. At least I have a man – even though he’s married with children. At least I know dynamic, elitist people - but don’t have authentic connections. At least I go to church – but don’t have a spiritual connection to God. At least I’m liked – but you yearn for unconditional love and encouragement. At least I have a GED – but was born with potential beyond a general education. Energy exhausted striving for the least is a fast race to the bottom. If you’re going to run, strive for the top (i.e., your best). No one spends time practicing to enter a race with the intention to lose or end at the bottom.

Do you pray and ask God to stop your car as you approach a stop sign or red light? We may pray if our brakes feel like they're going out. Why do we plead the blood and rebuke the Devil when the doctor tells us, our smoking will lead to lung cancer, our drinking can lead to cirrhosis of the liver, or our sexual activities will lead to a sexually transmitted disease. What do you believe is the driving force behind our payment of our own death when God sent Jesus Christ to give us life? Can the Devil or our sin nature simply be the blame? When are we going to take responsibility for our choices? The next time we're diagnosed with some type of ailment, instead of rebuking the Devil and pleading the Blood of Jesus on the symptom, plead the Blood of Jesus Christ on the force that contributes to our emotional, mental, and physical death.

Everything we do in life involves choices. Everyday that God gives us the gift of life, we can decide how to live life. We can choose to be productive or unproductive; get out of or stay in bed; take Metro or drive to work; cook or eat out, wear red instead of blue; send our children to public or private school; eat beef or pork; eat wheat or white bread; drink tap or distilled water; stay single or get married; stay married or get a divorce; choose a new rewarding career, or remain miserable in a monotonous dead end job; serve God or not serve God; pray or not pray, show and give love or show and give hate; be an agnostic, humanist, or monotheistic; become a Muslim, Jehovah’s Witness, or Christian; attend a Baptist, African Methodist Episcopal, Non-Denominational, or a Holiness church; live or die. Hmm, choices, choices, choices!!! Life is full of so many choices. The choices we make while living on this earth, can result in life’s great gain or destruction. Our eternal destiny is

Anger is a colorless emotion that has become a universal definition of today's Black Woman . Why are Black Women angry? Are they tired of the negative connotations associated with their identity? Did they grow up without an earthly father that never confirmed their God-given beauty when society didn’t embrace their darker hue? Are they tired of playing the role of mother and father when they only have the capacity to play one? Are they tired of lifting up others, while concurrently being torn down? Are they tired of living pretentiously, and have forgotten how to be authentic? Are they living in bondage and don’t know how to break free? Did their search for love, affection, and acceptance lead them into the arms of Mr. Wrong? Did their career pursuits bring them external wealth, while leaving their spirits depleted? Whew! There are countless reasons for women to be angry, but none can justify sinning as a result of them. Ephesians 4:26 states, Be angry, and do not si

Focus on the person God wants you to be, not the person you used to be. Here’s how: Forgive yourself of your past mistakes and use them as stepping stones to your true identity and potential. ( Isaiah 43:18 ) Feed your inner being with God’s word, positive thoughts, and positive self-talk. ( Philippians 4:8 ) Focus only on your potential and not your limitations. ( Isaiah 43:7 ) Do not measure your life against the accomplishments of others. ( I Samuel 16:7 ) Govern your life according to God’s plan; not opinions. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 )

There are numerous women and girls that empower others to dominate their lives. Teenage girls give up their virginity to boys that don't understand their value or worth – in search of love and affection. Adult women put their dreams and aspirations on a 20-year hold to take care of their family - ending up broke or homeless due to divorce. Or, single mothers that expand their family when a large source of their household income is at the expense of public assistance or a social service agency. The list goes on and on and on..... For years, The SOFEI Group (formerly known as Virtuous Enterprises, Inc.) has provided services to enrich the quality of lives of women and girls. And, during these years, I've discovered programs and services are as effective as the people that want to invest in themselves to change the direction of their lives. Change starts within! This is where the power starts too - within the core of our being. For Women’s History Month , I’m calling women to recl