I’m Not One of Them

My parents raised me different.

My parents told me, "Make sure you can take care of yourself," and I do.

These women need to stop lying on their backs, making babies they can’t take care of.

I’m not giving my money to support lazy women that don’t want to work.

These statements are from single mothers who were approached by The SOFEI Group to help us achieve our mission of empowering women to economic independence. The single mothers were divorced, widowed, and a sole parent with a strong support system.

What’s interesting is how proud they were to share their distinction without knowledge of our current and prospective clients. It will be impossible for women to thrive as a cohesive unit when we’re moved so swiftly to divide. Why talk about the wage gap between men and women or any other gaps that supposedly prevent women from progressing, when women allow social, political, financial, or ethnical differences create wedges?

Many women who have experienced or are experiencing poverty, did not choose it! They do not enjoy relying on the government or others to feed their children or meet their basic living needs. And, it's unfortunate these women experience a different type of judgment when they need assistance to regain their momentum after a divorce, death of a spouse, spousal abandonment, decline in health, or job loss.

Today's society is heading towards a downward spiral because women who carry the weight of poverty aren't participating at their best capacity. Madeleine Albright, (former United States Ambassador to the United Nations and US Secretary of State) states, "There's a special place in hell for women that don't help each other."

Women have the power to transform our society to be more inclusive and not divisive. It's a matter of choice. Which will you choose?

SOFEI's Top Ten

Following is a list of The SOFEI Group's top ten YouTube videos for motivation, inspiration, and hope:

1. Am I Wrong - Nico & Vince
2. Try - Colbie Caillat
3. Beautiful Flower - India Arie
4. Hear My Call - Jill Scott
5. Golden - Jill Scott
6. Bravo - Ledisi
7. Superwoman - Alicia Keys
8. Just Fine - Mary J. Blige
9. Didn't Know My Own Stength - Whitney Houston
10. Turning Around for Me - Vashawn Mitchell

It's Time to Clean House

An elderly woman lost her life in a house fire because she hoarded stuff that didn't add value. Her neighbors recognized how hazardous her house had become and offered assistance to help her clean, to no prevail.

Just as the elderly woman collected worthless items, there are many people who gather and hold onto people and things that deplete or bring detriment to their spiritual or emotional well-being. Worthless items like negative thinking, self-denial, stressful living, defeat, deceit, jealousy, fear, anger, covetousness, envy, anxiety, lack of self-control, hatred, low self-worth and self-esteem.

When we pray and ask God for deliverance from our trials and tribulations, healing from a broken or wounded heart, or for a financial blessing, He can't deliver when our internal being is cluttered. For example, when a pilot attempts to land a plane, the pilot verifies if the pathway is clear. If it isn't, the pilot goes into a holding pattern. God is like the pilot! He wants to deliver your blessing or deliverance, but your pathway isn’t clear.

Your blessing or deliverance is on hold and God is willing, able, and ready to release it; but, you have to clean house! Get rid of everyone and everything that's cluttering your life. It will take commitment, determination, and patience. Don't look for quick cleaning methods or solutions, but roll up your sleeves, and clear areas often missed or overlooked. A clean house (i.e., internal) will make room to receive everything you need to live a focused, fulfilled, and joyous life.

Jewel in The Hands of an Inexperienced Jeweler

Genesis 34 talks about a young virgin woman, named Dinah who “went out to see the daughters of the land” (Genesis 34:1). She was spotted by Shechem - a victim of lust at first sight, who took Dinah and violated her virginity (Genesis 34:2). A Jewel, such as Dinah, was defiled and violated because of Shechem’s strong sexual desire to have her (Genesis 34:3). In Hebrew, the definition of violated or defiled, means to be taken by force (i.e., raped). Shechem’s actions resulted in harm instead of satisfaction because Dinah’s brothers, Levi and Simeon lied, stole, and murdered for revenge.

Dinah was a Jewel taken by force, but there are many women (Jewels) who voluntarily place themselves in the hands of Inexperienced Jewelers due to:

Soft Spoken Words

According to Genesis 34:3, Shechem spake kindly unto the damsel. Women can become prey to soft spoken words if they were raised in negative environments, were victims of verbal, emotional, or physical abuse and never heard or experienced unconditional love.

Low Self-Esteem

Some women with low self-esteem try to validate their self-worth by clinging to the arms of wrong men.

The Biological Clock

Some women rush into marriage based on their biological clock instead of God's. Their friends have gotten married, and started families, and they feel like timing is running out for Mr. Right.

Inexperienced Jeweler Doesn't Know Her Value

This can happen for women with a history of broken and abusive relationships, as well as other issues they haven't allowed God to cleanse and heal.

Fornication

Many women are in the hands of Inexperienced Jewelers for the sake of Eros (lustful) love and have convinced themselves that if the sex is good, everything else in the relationship will fall into place. However, sex was designed to be good under the Union of Holy Matrimony.

Hungry for Love and Affection

If an employee partakes of an unhealthy snack to satisfy their hunger, this can prevent them from enjoying a healthy, nutritious meal because they have become full from the snack. When we're hungry for love and affection we too indulge in unhealthy snacking (i.e., relationships) which blocks us from receiving the main entrée - a man designed especially for us.

So, are You a Jewel In The Hands of An Inexperienced Jeweler?

I Am What I Am!

Growing up as a dark-skinned woman can be difficult. The teasing and caustic remarks can diminish a woman's self-esteem until they discover....

They came from the mind of God.
In the secrecy of their mother’s womb, they were fearfully and wonderfully made.
To live and fulfill God’s divine purpose and perfect will,
with their shape, size, and beautiful skin shade.

They are who they are, by God’s grace.
They have strength, courage, and perseverance to run and finish their race.
Their spirit has been quickened, they are no longer God’s enemy and Satan’s slave.
By God’s unconditional love and power, they were raised from the carnal grave.
As a chosen, redeemed, and predestined Saint, they know how to behave!

Everything God created is good, and we were created to bring glory and honor to Him (Isaiah 43:7). We all have unique features and characteristics to fulfill God’s purpose.

Whether we are light or dark, full or small figured, we should not allow ourselves to be victimized because of who we are, nor should we criticize others for who they are not. When we start accepting and embracing our uniqueness, God will manifest His power to help us love ourselves and others unconditionally.

Responsiblity

• Be responsible for your actions. No one can make you behave the way you do.
  
• Be responsible for your thoughts. No one can make you think what you think.
  
• Take ownership of your feelings. No one can make you feel good or bad.
  
• Be responsible for your life. No one can make you have a fulfilled or dreadful life.
  
• Be responsible for your well being. No one can define who you are or your purpose for living.
  
• Be responsible for how you are treated. You are treated the way you allow yourself to be treated.
  
• Be responsible for how you treat others. No one can make you respect or disrespect him or her.
  
• Be responsible for your relationship with God and others. God and no one can make you love them. The choice is ultimately yours.

I Weep for Sisters Looking

I weep for Sisters looking
For a man that’s so hard to find
My sisters try, they trip, they tremble
Because the search goes on all the time.

I weep for Sisters looking
For security in masculine form
They’re tossed and thrown by emotions
Like a small ship in a big storm.

I weep for Sisters looking
For a “brother” whom they can respect
Not a pretty boy or millionaire
Just someone
With whom
They can connect.

I weep for Sisters looking
Because of the pain and heartbreak
They endure
The loneliness that turns to emptiness
Will there ever be a cure?

I say Yes, Dear Sisters,
There is a cure
A real cure from my point of view
For perhaps wisdom is dictating
That you pray and wait,
Serve and work
Until
Mr. Right
Finds You!

By Evangelist Emanuel Scott, Jr.